Well, according to Sky News, Dame Elizabeth Taylor will NOT be attending the Memorial Service for Michael Jackson. Whooopeeeee!
Thank you for this highly important piece of news, Sky. Could you elaborate on other people who will not be attending this event. I know I should add my name to the list, along with my dog, a small bat that flew past my house yesterday, Bob Holness, Zeke from Neighbours, the late Charles II, and Jade Goody (oh, whoops..forgot, she's still in Diana mode, and we are all in mourning for her)... How will we all cope without such beacons of virtue as Diana, St. Jade (The Patron Saint of all things Chav), and St. Michael, who on the plus side should do a fair bit for Marks and Spencer (also not attending!)...
For the love of SANITY GET A GRIP! Life goes on.. well, not for Jackson obviously, but a little perspective PLEASE... anyone would think the Second Coming of Christ had taken place (incidentally, he won't be attending either, although will be sending the Holy Ghost in his absence.. you'll recognise him.. dove shaped, easy to spot, but don't confuse him with the aforementioned bat.. he won't be there!)
Seriously, the global economy is buggered, North Korea is getting ready to take us into Armageddon, today is the anniversary of the 7/7 London bombings (which barely manages to scrape into the Sky News "list", just above a story about a serial cat killer... no, not kidding.. just Google Tyler Weinman), Al Quaeda are still intent of ensuring we all enter Valhalla for being bacon-munching scum, and some dopey bint who ISN'T GOING to a Memorial Service is more important than this? Journalism has a new low, and the UK is fawning again with Diana Syndrome, just as it did with Jade "I'm not a racist, guv'nor" Goody, and now Jackson, who had an extremely dubious past to say the least.
Perspective, people.. the world isn't grinding to a halt, the sky isn't falling down, and Chicken Licken will safely cross the road for many years to come... in the meantime, will the Press please GET A BLOODY GRIP ON REALITY (A bizarre concept, I know, but try it.. you never know, you might just discover there is more to life than celebrity!).